This is a guest post by Marni Kinrys. Marni is a dating coach and "wing girl," who "puts her insider knowledge to good use for the betterment of all men." Marni is the Best Selling Author of the book "Get Inside Her" and records a weekly podcast called "Ask Women" available on iTunes.
She shares stories of guys' dating fumbles and how to avoid them.
I’ve had my fair share of awful dates, and to prevent yourself from becoming a Tale From The Dating-Crypt, make sure you learn from where these guys went wrong!
1. The Initial Interaction
Throughout our date, Mike went on and on about how much he hated his job, his coworkers, his car, his apartment, his neighbors, the drink he just ordered!
In fact, I don’t think he asked me one question about myself the entire time, also a big no-no!
I felt slighted and instead of interrupting his negative rants, I sat back and listened while despondently thinking, “Doesn't he wanna know about me?”
Not only did it put a sour taste in my mouth and bring a draining air of negativity to our date, it made him look like a complaining, whiny baby that no woman should ever date.
A first date is a simple get-to-know-you meeting, not a replacement to your therapist’s couch.
So stick to things that make you happy, your passions, and your drives…and most of all, ask about hers as well! First dates are about seeing if there’s a connection. If you fail to connect and engage with her, you’re definitely not making it to date #2.
2. “Can I Come Up?”
I had no plans of inviting Doug up that night, but by the end of our date, he asked, “Hey, ya know I've had a couple beers and I really hate driving when I’ve had anything to drink. Is it cool if I chill at your place to sober up a bit?”
Being a strong proponent of not drinking and driving (though now that I think of it, he only had one beer), I let him up.
An hour later, Doug was still in my apartment, cozying up next to me with his overbearing scent of Old Spice and desperation, demanding we cuddle, to the point where I had to physically shove him out.
Doug did not take notice of my subtle signs that were screaming “I’m not comfortable, and I'm no longer into you, please leave.” I had said no to cuddling and stood as far away from him as possible but he still couldn’t see that I didn’t want anything more to happen.
He didn’t get a goodbye hug, peck on the cheek, or even a high five; and I never answered his calls or texts thereafter.
So pee at the bar before you leave, walk around the block to sober up, or, hell, call someone else to hang out. Whatever you do, don't be that creep who tricked her into letting you up when she wasn’t going to ask you anyway!
If she wants you in her place, bed, pants, etc., I promise she’ll let you know.
3. The First Kiss and Make-out
Frank wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed and the conversation was comparable to one I'd have with my 3-year-old niece, but our physical chemistry was strong enough that I definitely wanted him to kiss me by the end of our date.
I knew that the kiss would be the “make it” or “break it” for him, which it usually is for most guys.
Now, while I can forgive his “Hey look over there!” to get closer without me noticing…to then move in to kiss me…I can’t forgive what happened next:
The kiss was soft and sultry all in one, but within seconds, Frank began to trace his finger—up my butt crack. I get it, hand placement can be tricky, but really?! At first I gently moved his hand away as we continued to make-out, but sure enough his hand and finger made their way back to my crack. This time I slapped his hand away and in an instant, he hoisted me into the air and started bouncing my body up against his as we made out.
I instantly burst out laughing and couldn’t help myself when I finally blurted out, “What the F are you doing?!”
He didn't seem to notice my reaction and, instead, proceeded to shove his entire tongue forcefully down my throat while setting his finger back between my cheeks.
Frank was yet another guy I never spoke to again.
I can say without a doubt that these 3 guys pulled definite deal-breakers for first dates. It's important to listen; to read body language; and not to get physical with someone in an unexpected or aggressive manner. Following these guidelines will help you avoid becoming a "worst date" story.